Motivation or Motives?

Tonight I was reading through James 4:1-12 and checking out some commentaries as I prepare for Bible Study tomorrow and a question arose that was kind of a slap in the face. What are your motivations? The text was making it in reference to fighting and quarrels, but it really stretches beyond that. What are the motives behind the things we do and say? Not, are they just "good," but are they Godly?

Sometimes I feel like I am so good at deceiving others that in turn I am really deceiving myself. Like when I was younger. I convinced everyone that I was tough and confident and even I believed it for awhile, but in the end when I really dig deep I know that it's not true. I think that I often do that with my motives too. Am I really doing this to help someone or am I hoping to get something out of it? What I did may be good, but was my heart and desires in line with God?

I don't have an answer on how to stop having selfish motives, I'm not sure there is a preventive strategy, but what I do know is that I want to change my motives into motivation. If I see that my motives may be skewed, I want to take that and turn it into motivation to get more in line with God. If I start something because it makes me feel good about myself, I want to change that into motivation to show God's glory and what he has done through me. I am imperfect and I will be until the day I die, but I am going to strive to be perfect because the day I stand with my Father I will be and he will say, "Well done, good and faithful daughter." What better motivation is there then that?

And so the journey begins....

As I have been home for Spring Break, I have been making preparations for this new and exciting road I will be taking in May. One of the things on my list was to renew my passport which expired a few years ago. So, on Monday morning Mom and I went to the Post Office in town, got the paper work, had my birth certificate and everything. When we got up to the window, he told us that we could pay him $15 to take my photo OR pay $7 at Rite Aid. Needless to say we went to Rite Aid, which we had already been at while waiting for my hair cut. Anyway, They took my picture and printed them and we once again got in the car and made our way BACK to the Post Office. The "fun" wasn't over yet. The man that had been working earlier was gone and two women were had taken his place. We got up to the one and she she took one look and saw that I wanted to do passport stuff and she told me she couldn't do it right now and to come back in an hour. This lady was not exactly making my day. She went on to tell us that we didn't actually have to do it through them, that I could just mail it in and save the $25 processing fee. We were very sure that we could NOT because I was 14 when I received my passport, but she just kept on telling us that we could. So we went home to finish it there...but the story doesn't end.

We got home and I finished the last few things on the application. There was a part that talked about renewals and so we started to read. It said that you CANNOT mail it in if you were under 16 when your last passport was issued to you. Great. SO, Tuesday we made yet again ANOTHER trip to the Post Office and that nice man was once again there. He told us that she had no idea what she was talking about (that's for sure) and that he would help us. BUT, he took one look at my picture and said "oh no." Not exactly what I wanted to hear. He told us that Rite Aid had made my head too big and that they might take it, but they might send it back...which I don't have time for cause we leave in May. SO, I dropped Mom off at work went home to get my receipt for Rite Aid, went to the store and had my picture retaken (it was right this time), and ONCE AGAIN WENT BACK TO THE POST OFFICE. Finally, this time everything was right and we got it sent off.

My greatest joy in all of this fiasco...that I will never have too do it again. From now on I CAN mail it in. Oh and that I am now one step closer to my final destination. ^_^