A lot of times people sort of judge me for how many movies I watch and how many hours I spend watching TV, but what they don’t realize (because they don’t take the time to get to know me, but that’s another story) is that when I watch movies and TV I analyze them. Part of that just comes from being the kind of person I am, but also because I feel that I, and others, can learn a lot about people through this medium. I know that the characters are not real, but the people behind them and that created them are. Just because it is a work of fiction doesn’t mean parts of it aren’t real.
There are a few particular things that I keep seeing pop up that have really caught my attention in regards to women in movies and TV. Many people are critical of the way woman are treated in these mediums, but if you really look close you see that most depictions are not that far off. Even those that are more obscure or stereotyped still hit on some truths.
The specific things that I am thinking of are actually questions that female characters often ask. Am I desirable? They may ask it in different ways like: Do you think I’m beautiful? Why doesn’t he want me? Do you love me? Or even, why don’t you love me? These seem like the super dramatic and needy kinds of questions, but the truth is that every woman wants to know the answer to these questions. Some of us may not say it out loud because we don’t know how or are afraid, but deep down we are all crying out for an answer. Am I wanted?
But it doesn’t end with that. That question then leads into, Why? What do you love about me? Why do you think I’m beautiful? Doesn’t matter if the answer to the above questions are yes or no, we need to know why. I don’t care how “strong” the woman is or about her primary love language, at least once in her life she will long to be told the answers to these questions. Doesn’t matter if her relationship is better than ever or on the rocks, she needs to know (in depth) what makes her special.
I may be citing movies and TV as a source of these questions, but I hear them everyday when woman think no one is listening. From friends who have just gone through a breakup to the girl talking on her phone as she walks down the street telling the person on the other end about her boyfriend who treats her like crap to the girl sitting on the bus looking longingly at the couple sitting a few seats down as if to ask, why not me? The women we sometimes laugh at in movies because of their “desperation” or “neediness” are not fictitious characters, but rather the very women in your life.
I can’t tell you why we are like this, to be honest I don’t think that it’s important; I just know that it is sewn into the very fabric of who we are. It starts from early on in our lives when little girls ask their mommies, “Don’t I look pretty?” And from then on it never stops.
A Krystal Myers’ song says it well, “We all long to belong/we all need to be needed/loneliness is our disease.” Her song is talking about people in general, but I know that for sure that this depicts a woman’s heart. Or to name of few movies and shows that come to me off the top of my head: He’s just not that into you, Stardust, Rome and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, When in Rome, Letters to Juliet, Grey’s Anatomy, Off the Map, and others.
I know that chances are guys feel a lot of the same things we do, but I can’t speak for them…cause I’m not one of them. I mostly look at it in the perspective of woman because I am one, but also because I am talking about it in relation to movies and TV and woman are the ones that seek those answers the most.
There are really three reasons that I wrote this. The first being that I find these observations interesting and thought you might too, second is that I think that at least acknowledging them is important and last but not least is that I hope the next time you watch a movie or turn on the TV you will look past the obvious and see the little bits of truth present in everything.
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