Love Part 3: A Different View of Romance

So as promised, here is part 3 of my February Love series. Now, this post is different then the others because this one is EVEN more a matter of my opinion. Yes, I know everything on this blog is my opinion, but this is especially so. Today I am going to talk a little bit about ROMANCE.

Those closest to me know that I am hugely, ridiculously, in love with romance. The thing that people often don’t realize is that my idea of romance is often very different than people would guess. I hope to help you all to get to know me a little better AND perhaps show you a different way of looking at romance.

So if a guy was ever to say to me that, “it was love at first sight,” or that, “we were destined to be together,” I would find that to be a rather big turn off. First off, I would know he was lying because I am not “that” kind of person. Second, I find those statements to be the very thing that kills romance. I know that sounds harsh, but I do have a rational behind it.

Love at first sight is a chemical reaction and that is fleeting and ever changing. I can buy that someone found a person to be attractive or intriguing the first time they saw them, but I can’t believe that it was love. I know that most often this is more of an expression, but I still find it super unromantic. Now I am more forgiving if someone says this, but I HATE when people use this next phrase.

When someone says, “we were destined,” or that, “we were meant to be,” I cringe. Statements like that make it sound like, “whelp, guess it’s you and me because that’s just the way it is.” YUCK!! I would never want anyone to be with me because that’s just the way it is SUPPOSE to be. I want the man I’m with to look at me and say, “you are beautiful and out of the MILLIONS of women in the world, I CHOSE YOU. Everyday I wake up and I choose to LOVE YOU. You’re the ONE I want.” To me, those words are so powerful and beautiful. Those words make me feel desirable. Love is hard and takes effort and when I meet the guy that I want to be with or marry, I want our relationship to be founded on something stronger than hormones. I mean really I want it to be founded in God and our love to be a reflection of his love for the church, but in this context I want it to be based in a choice. Which really does have to do with God because He often talks about how He CHOSE us before time began. There is just something about someone loving who you are so much that they would deny all other woman to be with you. THAT to me is romantic.

Now when it comes to wooing or romancing someone, the thing that one must keep in mind is that there is NO template. Every person is different and the way they are romanced is no exception. The only way you are going to woo someone is if you KNOW them. For example: a guy could be super gushy and say and do all the romantic stuff he wants to me and I would melt, but for my sister that would be a HUGE turn off. Her idea of romance (if I am wrong she can correct me) is curling up together with a glass of wine, after a nice cooked meal, and reading a good book together. He can buy her flowers or make her something, but if he gets too mushy, gushy then they’ve crosses the line.

As every person has a different love language, every person has a different romance style. If you really want to show someone that you love them, show them that you KNOW them. Everyone wants to be known in INTIMATELY, and showing that you know their love language and romance style demonstrates that. Romancing someone is just one way to show them how well you KNOW and LOVE them.